Thursday, November 6, 2008

Forwarded from Nadine to Jeff

Scroll down to the joke at the bottom of this's pretty funny!!!!!! Nadine

Subject: Expectations...

"Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there."
- Mickey Friedman

Rex Barker here with "Hope"...
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Whether you are happy or disappointed with the results of this hotly fought election, it is now a time of hope for the country. Hope that regardless of who is running the country, our lot as a people improves.
Hope that the economy turns around and people are earning healthy livings. Hope that our borders – will be protected against terrorist threats – both internal and external. Hope that our education and healthcare improve. And hope that freedom and growth around the world rebound.
We judge of man's wisdom by his hope.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.
- Barbara Kingsolver
Hope is the last thing that dies in man; and though it be exceedingly deceitful, yet it is of this good use to us, that while we are traveling through life it conducts us in an easier and more pleasant way to our journey’s end.
- Fran├žois de la Rochefoucauld
Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit.
- Norman Vincent Peale
He who does not hope to win has already lost.

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding.
Officer: May I see your drivers license?
Driver: I dont have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owners card for this vehicle?
Driver: Its not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: Thats right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owners card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: Theres a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. Thats where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: Theres a BODY in the TRUNK???
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:\
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: Its mine, officer. Here's the owner card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if theres a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but theres no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

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